All I Want For Christmas


Has your heart longed for more than a wrapped gift beneath the Christmas tree?


Carols raise - “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.” Santa’s list, packages from Amazon stack in front of many doors, lines oh so many, lots of loud traffic honking impatiently. Where has Christmas gone?


Really so love to tell you what I want for Christmas.


Every November my Grandma begins to inquire, “What does Julia want this Christmas?” How blessed am I to have so many people who love me and desire the perfect gifts just for me! Don’t get me wrong - I love me some really pretty UGG boots. However, I love time with my friends and family more.


When I was small, gift-giving was a guessing game. My life had been one big long guessing game until spelling broke open the silent gate. Sadly, so many toys left lonely and in boxes. American Girl dolls sit untouched. Lots of piles of stuffed animals collecting dust.


Used to the world not understanding the Autistic brain. Play has lots of meanings. I look at pretend food and my brain tells me to organize pieces in a variety of ways. I love to line them up in a spectacular array. Lots of people glance and deem me strange or peculiar. If minds were open, one might see my really beautiful creative way of expressing myself.


I am so mindful of what society thinks I should have in my room or should play with. I am willing to learn...am willing to mold to an extent. My ultimate goal is to live my life independently, fully with my family as supportive partners.


So...back to what I want for Christmas. Instead of presents, my heart longs for…


Lots of family time

Christmas music blasting

Staring endlessly at lights on the tree

Drives at night with my Dad, Mom and Will having indescribable laughs while taking in magnificent light displays

Grandpa’s spaghetti and homemade pancakes

Grandma’s chocolate chip cookies

Will using my letter board with me

My mom snuggling with me

My dad working with me on my independence

Memories recalled of my beautiful Grandma Apps - I will eat some vanilla cake with vanilla icing to celebrate her glorious birth on Christmas Day


To type, to speak with my mind clearly

For that, I will keep wishing.


All I want for Christmas is for His love to shine down on this world. Reminding all there is hope. There is faith.


There is love still.