Music Speaks



“Music speaks when words fail.”


This quote resonates with me greatly. Words all live in my mind. My body holds on to them, like playing tug of war. I usually lose the battle but not the war. I am inside - fighting for my words to be heard. My body is like a puppet master, pulling the strings. My mind is following its cues, hoping to break free.


Music very much lives in my soul. Inside my mind, music is a magnificent display of all things bright and beautiful. Lines and shapes swirl about using rhythm as a guide. I used to worry about this. Now I know God has given me this incredible gift. It is indescribable. Chromesthesia is a phenomenon of people seeing sounds in shapes and colors. I am not just autistic...I have the gift of not only hearing music but seeing it as well.


Have you ever listened to Marshmello’s Happier? Such a beautiful song. The words are powerful alone but I see so much more. Gold shimmers across my mind like fireworks lighting across the night sky. Magnificent light is my reminder that my life is quite miraculous and precious. Gold makes me really happy and quite calm. Don’t all people wish they could hear music the way I see it?


I relate to this song on so many levels. All I want is happiness. Not my own necessarily but for all this world. So much sadness lives in us due to the pandemic. Loss of jobs, loss of health, loss of life. I lost my Grandma Apps during the pandemic. My heart still aches knowing my life will never have her smile, her marvelous way of lighting up a room without saying a word or her inspirational messages to me, inspiring me to shine my light to all the world. She loved music with all her heart and all her soul. When I listen to music, she is with me.


Music is my saving grace. It takes me away from my quiet all the time. Music is my best get-away. With music, I go wherever it leads me. With music, no spoken words are needed. With music, I soar beyond looks, judgement and so many opinions. Music invites me in and asks me to stay awhile.


Why can’t we all live life like music?