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Silent Night


Silent night.

Holy night.

All is supposed to be calm.


My beautiful Autistic mind is full of images.

Sounds.

So much stimulation.


Moments of quiet creep in unexpectedly - like staring at snow in winter.

So much peace.

Tranquility.


Silence and I go way way back.


So many of my memories from early childhood were like being in a snowglobe.

I was in my own place full of nice things.

I would watch my loved ones interact.

My mouth would open.

No words.

Another silent night.


Spelling to communicate was my rescue.

Each instructor dropped down ladder after ladder.

My Mom prompting - encouraging me with every step.


I’m still climbing towards my goals.

Noise and silence sometimes try to throw me off track.

They will not win.

I am unstoppable.


I lean into my relationships.

I lean into my hopes for an independent life.

I lean into my love for Him.


I am so incredibly thankful for ladders tossed my way.

For words of support.

For more words reliably spoken and spelled.

For a lot less silent nights.



Photo Credit: Zac Cain

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